(Author’s note: To be sung to ‘I Am Woman’ by the appropriately named Helen Reddy. Julia Gillard became Australian PM in June 2010 after deposing Kevin Rudd)

I am redhead, watch me roar

I’d numbers too big to ignore

As I’m true blue, no way I will pretend

‘cause I’ve put up with that bore

With his antics there on the floor

No one’s ever gonna keep me down again

 
CHORUS

Oh yes I am red

I’ll relieve the country of its pain

Yes, he’s paid the price

But look how much I’ve gained

If I have to, I will do anything

I’m so strong (strong)

I have principles (principles)

I am redhead

 
You can offend but never break me

Call me ‘carrot’, even hate me

So determined to give that monk a big roll

I’ll win coast to the donga

Not a novice any longer

And I’m no longer any old faction’s moll

 
CHORUS

I am PM watch me grow

Take on miners toe to toe

As I spread my love like fire across the land

So get used to my monotone

I’ll be a long time on the throne

As I have got all the blueys as my fans


CHORUS

 
FADE

I am redhead

I have principles

I’m so strong

I am redhead

When you’re lost

Lost in the wilderness

Who ya gonna call?

The Bush Adventure Man:

Tony Abbott

 

So you can have your Leylands, Hiddins, Mangels,

Crocodile Dundee and the like,

But this is the man who’ll extract you from tangles,

he’ll rescue you on quad bike.

The guy who in times of trouble will never ever fail,

a real outdoorsy freak,

He can down a witchetty grub as easy as an ale

at a place like Fossil Creek.

The bloke out there with the snake, croc and dingo,

an Aussie through and through,

An oasis of truth in the bull dust of the donga,

he’ll run the pants off a kangaroo.

The fellow who’s as straight as the Barrier Highway,

he’s no namby pamby fake,

Tough as an Argyle diamond with its big price to pay,

as valuable as an iron ore stake.

The man who won’t go the way of that Burke and Wills,   

not one to join the bunglers,

There are certainly no frills, nor any cheap thrills,

except those budgie smugglers!

 
(Author’s note: In March 2010, Opposition Leader Tony Abbott was lost for six hours during a trip to Central Australia)

Hello, my name is Hung

I’m sitting here in detention

Worried about uncertain future

Trying to gain some Independents

 
Free me from sick Labor camp

Hung only wishes to be well Hung

Oh please take a more Liberal view

But don’t send me to that place Nauru!

(Author’s note: Australia waited for 17 days for a government to form after the 2010 election provided a hung parliament. The Gillard Government was formed as a minority government after gathering support from Independents)